What the Deuce?!?!

Please, if anybody out there is reading this, help me. My name is Baby Blaze, I live in South Bend, IN, and my mom is a crazy woman. Last Saturday we were enjoying a nice evening of hanging with the girls, talking about boys, and making fun of my dad. I was feeling a little ignored as they all talk about me, but never with me. My dad is the only one that listens to me so I can't wait 'til it's his turn to hold me!

Anyway, despite my warnings, my mom tried to walk down the hardwood stairs at a friend's house in her socks. I could see it coming a mile away and you would think that my mom would understand a left hook to the inside of the ribs means "pay attention to what you're doing." So I'm trying to talk to Jen about where she buys Ella's clothes, and the next thing I know we're sliding down the stairs on mom's back! I was the only one laughing because, while it was scary, it was also kind of fun. Do it again! Do it again!

On Wednesday, my dad dropped my mom off outside her office after lunch. I was still finishing up my lunch because no matter where we go, my food always takes longer to come to the table, and I'm a bit of a slow eater. Anyway, I'm minding my own business and the next thing I know I'm tumbling forward and my food goes flying everywhere. Vile woman! Do I need to teach you how to walk! Luckily, dad came running over to help us up and settle everyone down. I was perfectly fine, but the silly doctor woman told my mom we still had to go the hospital to check everything out. After three hours of poking and monitoring, we left the hospital with no problems. I'm perfectly fine, but my mom has a few scrapes and bruises on her hands and knees from where she fell. That will teach her.